… but chemo sucks

I couldn't get up on Sunday.  The overwhelming "chemo" feeling made me roll over and go back to sleep.  A few times.  Just hoping that I could "sleep it off."

As the imagery shows, chemotherapy for my Hodgkins lymphoma works…

        ...but chemo sucks.

I can say that, I am in the middle of treatment.  This is not "negative," just dealing with the reality.  And working through it all.

The reality is I can count on feeling really bad at least 10 days a month, and feeling pretty good only about 4 to 6 days a month.  The rest of the time is a crapshoot. I'm often surprised when I think I'm feeling better, but then I unexpectedly have to just go lay down and check out…  (Or go surfing, catch one wave, and wash up on the beach with almost-disabling vertigo!)

It's the up and downs that make it tough. It's a mental game as much as anything.  Since I'm on a 2 week regimen, I'm actually feeling pretty darn good by day 12 and 13.  Weak as hell, but feeling good.  Just in time to go back in and start all over again. "Do I really have to, Doc?"

What does this feel like?

For me, initially after treatment, I feel like someone drugged me and kicked me really hard in the stomach.  Dizzy, nauseous, spacey… blah.  And knowing that my gut flora (those friendly bacteria that make digestion possible) is being nuked once again, and it will take at least a week to work through the constipation, gas and bloating.

I am figuring it out, but it seems every time is a bit different.

What helps?

• Acupuncture
• Colonics
• Cannabis
• Diet & supplements
• Rest and time outside

That last one is important.  Outside, fresh air, freedom...

But every other Thursday it's right back to the beginning again.

Sometimes I feel like I just have to pay my dues.  Complete my sentence. As if I'm playing a game and I landed on

              "Get Bit by a Tick: Do to 6 months of Chemo."

But this is real, and there is no "Get Out of Jail Free" card.  And there is no "Just Sleep it Off."

Even so, I am grateful to be living in a time when we have access to something that works.  Otherwise I would not be here to write this.  There is such a bright light at the end of this tunnel, and it's getting closer every day.  Ready for July!